overall word count went up not down
This doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Word count can go up when you make your post more specific and more interesting. More words is only a problem if they’re flabby words.
Good work on your flabby phrases.
A few minor suggestions:
Truth is, Hawaii doesn’t have to be unaffordable. It can be downright attainable.
=> this is a little repetitive. Consider: Truth is, Hawaii can be affordable.
Fantasize, dream, invent a story for yourself living anywhere on the globe. Go ahead! One strong reminder, however, these fantasies, dreams, and stories need to include YOU. The REAL you. That’s the non-negotiable. Setting is up for grabs. You are nonrefundable.
This feels a little wordy to me. Perhaps also introduce a question here to engage your reader, e.g. Does your dream about life in Hawaii or anywhere else include YOU? The real YOU? Or a fantasy YOU?
This last category does include the earlier two to be honest with you. It’s really All about personal preferences. Most of us never really think about it. We’ve known ourselves our whole lives, haven’t we? Well, here’s the part where we get a tad bit existential, but stick with me. I promised it was essential, remember?
=> this paragraph is a little abstract. It’s not immediately clear what “This last category” refers to, and the next sentence (“It’s really ALL…) starts with a vague “it”. I would consider scrapping this paragraph. If you want to keep it consider deleting “really” twice.
To live here successfully, you have to know two things very well: Hawaii and yourself.
=> To enjoy your life here, you have to know both Hawaii and yourself well.
Enchant readers. Woo customers. Win business.