Round two! Getting better, I hope. 🙂
Article Not Written by Me (from The Human Workplace blog)
Branding for Humans, or, Don’t Suck the Juice out of your Story
I dreamed about Albert Einstein the other night. I dreamed I was reading dear Albert`s resume, and it said …”Results-oriented scientist, researcher and author with a broad range ofexperience in cosmology, astrophysics and related areas. Extensive background in laboratory research, mathematical computation, writing and lecturing.”
In my nightmare, one of the most exciting people ever to grace our planet was reduced to a boring, lifeless shell on paper. If it could happen to Albert Einstein, it could happen to you!
We pick up bad habits over time, but we can break them. Our moms got us to stop biting our nails (most of us, anyway). We can stop describing ourselves in soporific terms, and bring a little color and spark back into our resumes.
I like this opening paragraph(s) for the following reasons:
- It opens with a short, intriguing sentence.
- It paints a picture, even if it’s a situational one instead of one I put myself in.
- It’s got a fear factor element that makes me connect to it.
- It has lots of power words like “lifeless shell”, “boring” and “spark” (and possibly soporific?)
- It ends with a comforting promise.
I think this is a really great opening. I don’t have anything bad to say about it. 🙂
Now, to re-edit my own:
5 Apps For Recruiters That Help You Cruise Through Life On The Road
Life on the road? It ain’t easy.
You have a backache from a bad hotel mattress. You have a wallet stuffed with receipts you’re guarding with your life. You have heartburn from too many meals at too many greasy spoons. And you’re only halfway through your recruitment tour.
Still, you love your job. You love life on the road. But some of the things that go along with it? You could live without.
What if you could do something to simplify the nit-picky details that steal your time and energy when you’re traveling? What if you could eat delectable food on the road and sleep like you do at home, waking up fresh and energized to take on the day?
You’re not dreaming. You’ve got the tools to make it happen right at your fingertips. With your smartphone and these 5 apps, you can effortlessly take the bother out of your next road trip so you can spend your time on doing what you love – putting the finishing sparkle on your next event.
Alissa R.