Home › Forums › Enchanting Business Blogging – Spring 2014 › Group A › Mohammed Ali – Module 7 › Reply To: Mohammed Ali – Module 7
This is a great topic that Fatima will love. 🙂
Your outline is excellent and I like your subheads, too.
My only concern is the last section “5 additional blessings of this new realization”. One point is that the subhead is not as strong as the others, it doesn’t sound as intriguing (a little bit more like an afterthought). The other point is that you’ve made a strong case for detaching ourselves from our possessions, does your reader require more convincing with additional benefits at this stage of your blog post? I would rather expect some practical advice here on how to implement this new way of looking at the world & how to let go of material attachments (but you might have that in the section before with your examples?).
If you’re keen to include this part, perhaps you can consider including these additional benefits earlier as arguments for implementing detachment from materialism. Or perhaps you could leave it where it is, but rephrase it as How to focus on what really really matters or something similar, but that would require a slight adjustment of your big idea: how to detach yourself from your possessions and focus on what really matters in life – your health and relationships.
What do you think?
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