I totally agree! I thought of removing one of these lines, but it’s such a better idea to remove both of them. The paragraph feels lighter now.
It is hard to remove sentences, but I know the guidance I wanted to give within them will appear in the body. I won’t have to repeat it.
I hope I did better in today’s final paragraph… I chose to edit the one I wrote for this post in module 4: 5 simple ways to overcome mood swings.
This is what it looked like:
See? it’s simple.
But these methods have an extra benefit.
They don’t just help children with autism.
They don’t just help children.
They can help you, too.
To be more relaxed, or more energized, with little effort.
So go ahead- brew on and tell me how it goes.
And this is my new paragraph:
Do you know “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho?
He traveled far and wide. The journey taught him a lot, but in the end he found out the truth sometimes hides at home. Sitting there quietly, waiting to be uncovered.
You would go to great lengths to relieve your child’s mood swings.
But sometimes, the simple solutions are all you need.
You’ve got nothing to lose.
Go ahead. Pick one. Give it a try.
Let it surprise you.
The last sentence would be better in Hebrew! It would have a double meaning. “Let it surprise you”- and “let him surprise you”. This is an extra inspirational message Sharon needs to hear.
I decided to give up on the extra “they can help you too” idea. It adds another benefit, but doesn’t overcome objections or inspire Sharon. So it doesn’t belong in here! I might add it as another paragraph in the body.