Enchanting Courses

  • Home
  • About
  • Contact me
  • Forums
  • Student Login
  • Logout

by 

Reply To: Mohammed Ali – Module 8

Home › Forums › Enchanting Business Blogging – Spring 2014 › Group A › Mohammed Ali – Module 8 › Reply To: Mohammed Ali – Module 8

June 15, 2014 at 3:22 pm #1238
Henneke
Keymaster

Excellent work. A few minor comments:

This new state of awareness is a journey. It’s doesn’t come overnight.
=> As you start practicing you’ll notice the benefits instantly.

These two statements clash a little, potentially putting doubts in your reader’s mind. I know it’s possible to see benefits instantly and having to practice for a longer time, but it doesn’t follow each other logically, which reduces your inspirational power a little.

You’ll be less irritable. Less anxious.
=> You can increase the impact here by going for the “power of three”, e.g.: you’ll be less irritable. Less anxious. Less angry.

Begin this journey.

It’ll change your life.

Forever.
=> great ending. An alternative would be to end with a positive word rather than “forever”, e.g.:

Begin this journey.

It’ll change your life. Forever.

Be happy.


Enchant readers. Woo customers. Win business.

© 2014-2022  Enchanting Courses · All Rights Reserved