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Reply To: Arif – Module 6

Home › Forums › Enchanting Business Blogging – Spring 2014 › Group B › Arif – Module 6 › Reply To: Arif – Module 6

June 21, 2014 at 6:40 pm #1283
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Henneke
Keymaster

Your assignments are really pushing me. I like it!

If it was easy, you wouldn’t learn so much, would you? I’m glad you’re enjoying it!

Excellent start to your blog post. A few suggestions:

Your little child is a full two years old now.
=> This can be shorter: Your child is now two years old. [if a child is two years, it’s obvious that he or she is little. Do you need “full”?]

But how do you go about choosing a preschool.
=> Add a question mark at the end as it’s phrased as a question: But how do you go about choosing a preschool?

Gosh, there is a preschool in every street of your neighbourhood.
=> Try to avoid “there”: Gosh, every street of your neighbourhood seems to have a preschool.

Choosing a preschool can be a nightmare. But only if you are not clear what you are looking for.
Here is what I learnt.

=> You could stress a little more that knowing what you’re looking for is easy to find out, because it’s not crystal-clear yet what you’re going to share in this post yet. Perhaps:

Choosing a preschool can be a nightmare. But only if you’re not clear what you’re looking for.

And defining your requirements may seem difficult, but it’s quite easy.

Here’s what I learnt.

[Using contractions like “you’re” makes your content slightly more informal. You don’t have to use them.]
—
Above are just minor points. I’m being super-critical, but that’s my job. 🙂

Your opening would draw Priya into your blog post. Well done.


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