Module 10! Yaaaaaay!
Almost on home stretch 🙂
You’ve done well to keep going consistently.
Excellent work on the warming up exercise.
The changes to your blog posts read well, but strictly speaking you’re drawing your conclusion before justifying it. You’re telling first, then showing.
I love making Goals.
=> This is telling your conclusion. The next sentences are the points that show you love making Goals.
In fact every week I take out time to do a review of my Goals.
During the review I list out goals for each of the important areas of my life.
Then I do 80/20 analysis, and I ask myself which of the 20% of goals will give me 80% of the results I want.
=> You can tighten this:
Every week I do a review of my Goals.
I list the goals for each important area of my life.
I ask myself which 20% of Goals will give me 80% of the results I want.
—
To make this example a little more engaging and let your reader draw her own conclusions, you could consider:
Do you make Goals? [This is not a perfect opening sentence; I can’t think of a better one right now.]
Every week I do a review of my Goals.
I list the goals for each important area of my life.
I ask myself which 20% of Goals will give me 80% of the results I want. These 20% goals get me excited, as I have a clear plan to maximize the limited time that I have.
Do you think I’m in love with making Goals?
You’re right. But I’m also aware of the unhappiness Goals can bring.
—
The next example is similar.
You’ve done something better.
=> This is your conclusion. (Telling) Consider moving this to after you show why they’re doing better.
You’ve formed the exercise habit that will keep you healthy for the rest of your life. This habit will ‘automatically’ keep your weight under control. You won’t be the kind of person who oscillates between gaining and losing weight.
You’ll be the kind of person with a life style designed to keep you healthy for the long term.
=> This is showing. This is where you justify your conclusion.
Enchant readers. Woo customers. Win business.