Good work and good story. 🙂
You can increase suspense a little more, and edit it a little tighter. Also, the metaphor is a little confusing as your plant has two problems – the drying leaves and the holes in the pot. Unless you specifically explain how each problem relates to running out of time (or energy?), it’s better to keep it simple. A few suggestions:
Imagine you receive a gorgeous plant from your best friend.
You admire the bright-red flowers and vibrant green leaves. You love its sweet scent, greeting you every time you enter your living room.
You’ve never been good with plants. But this time, you’re determined. This plant will bloom on!
You water it twice a day. You spray its leaves. You even tell her softly how beautiful she is.
But soon you find the first red flowers on your floor. And the leaves start to wither.
In desperation, you ask your friend for help. He tells you right away: “The big hole at the bottom of the pot lets all the water out”.
And two weeks later?
A new red flower is smiling at you.
Water for a plant is like time for you. You only have a limited amount. Don’t run out.
Conserve your time for what’s important–your child, your marriage, your health.
Enchant readers. Woo customers. Win business.