This is the opening paragraph for the travelblog from module 6 and 7.
I think you mean closing paragraph?
I like it. It’s quite poetic. And I agree that it suits your style (at least what I know of you).
Now I might have to re-write the opening paragraph 😉
This happens to me, too. I often move sentences from the opening to the closing paragraph, or vice versa. But with more practice, this happens less often. It becomes easier to decide what goes where while writing.
A few minor comments:
First you experience the landscape like a child.
=> “first” is a little vague as it could also mean when you first see a landscape, when you arrive somewhere. I think you mean: When you travel, you experience a landscape like a child.
Back home you engage the grown-up.
=> Consider: Back home you engage your grown-up self [to make clear you don’t refer to someone else]
It touched me on a deep level, deep as the Canyon itself. By sorting it out I gave it a place and created my own layers of information to use for future projects.
=> The “it”s that are bolded are a little vague. Can you make them specific? E.g. The travelling experience touched me on a deep level, deep as the Canyon itself. By sorting my images, I gave my experience a place and created my own layers of information to use for future projects.
You can compose your own layers.
=> After this you may want to add one or two more sentences to remind your reader why she would like to compose her own layers. Or does “composing your own layers” incentivize Sarah enough to start organizing her images? Or perhaps the post addresses this already sufficiently?
Good work, Helga. I love the direction you’re heading in.
Enchant readers. Woo customers. Win business.