Good story, Mohammed Ali. And glad to see you’re tackling the last module 🙂
You can up the suspense a little more by moving your sentences around a little more, and increasing the emotion. I like the idea of email as a drug – your could include a few more references to this. I also think when you say something like “email was giving me a high” – you should try and explain it.
Each morning I’d check my email.
Even before I got out of bed.
Barely awake, I’d read my emails, reminding me of the things I had to do.
Emails were my drugs, giving me a high. They made me feel valued. People were looking for my advice, my input, my answers. That’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it?
Reading emails throughout the day became compulsive. And it started to stress me out, destroying my productivity.
It had to stop. I couldn’t live like this anymore.
So one day, I went cold turkey.
I disconnected email completely from my iPhone. I simply couldn’t check my emails on my phone anymore.
In the beginning it was difficult. I craved checking my emails. I felt the urge to install email back on my phone.
But I resisted.
And instead of checking email, I would use that time to organize my tasks on my iphone, or jot down my thoughts in the notes application.
And you know what happened?
I got more organized. I got more done. And I became more fulfilled.
In this story, the sentence “I had a compulsive habit of checking email on my iphone.” is telling rather than showing, so I’ve taken it out. And instead, I’ve painted a picture of this compulsive behavior (you might want to change the details of course, I just made these up to show what I mean).
These are just minor changes, but they make your story flow better.
Enchant readers. Woo customers. Win business.