Great! This is much better.
You can make the initial picture more vivid. For instance:
I had been in bed since 10pm.
But I was still tossing and turning.
I hadn’t eaten since 2pm, and my stomach was screaming for food.
[It’s a little unusual not to eat all afternoon and evening, so your reader is probably thinking why didn’t he eat? Adding a reason why you didn’t eat here will give your story more credibility.]
So I began to tread with slow careful steps towards the switch.
=> Be careful with adding more than one adjective before a noun. Try: So I began to tread with careful steps towards the switch. Or even: I began to tiptoe slowly to the switch.
With slow & steady steps, I made it!
=> I would consider removing this sentence as it feels a little repetitive.
Looking forward to your next story. 🙂
Enchant readers. Woo customers. Win business.