Enchanting Courses

  • Home
  • About
  • Contact me
  • Forums
  • Student Login
  • Logout

by 

Reply To: Jonas – Module 3

Home › Forums › Test Drive I › Group A › Jonas – Module 3 › Reply To: Jonas – Module 3

March 5, 2014 at 8:53 pm #325
Avatar
Henneke
Keymaster

Great job. I like it.

The only changes I’m not sure about are these two:

Changed this: The restaurant was in a trendy spot in the theater district that served dinner until 9 and turned into a club after that.
To this: The restaurant was in a trendy spot in the theater district. We served dinner til 9. After that, it turned into a club.

Changed this: The place was constantly packed and the clientele was demanding.
To this: The place was constantly packed. The clientele demanding.

With these short sentences, you put a lot of emphasis on each point. My feeling is that it doesn’t really matter if a reader gets the general idea here without paying attention to each word.


Enchant readers. Woo customers. Win business.

© 2014-2021  Enchanting Courses · All Rights Reserved