Great work, Alissa. I can see you worked hard! (forgive me the exclamation mark, will you?) You cut the average number of words per sentence by 50% and eradicated all passive sentences.
But that’s for the next round of editing
Yes, exactly. It’s really hard to do all editing in one round. You’ll find that your content gets much better if you concentrate on improving one thing at a time.
I bet Linda will be happy with your editing as it makes the post more readable for her.
Enchant readers. Woo customers. Win business.