Home › Forums › Enchanting Business Blogging – Spring 2014 › Group A › Alissa Robson – Module 3 › Reply To: Alissa Robson – Module 3
Wednesday Assignment:
I have a lot of short sentences in my post, based on the editing I did yesterday, so I didn’t want to add to many more for fear of overkill. Here’s one line I tweaked, though:
Old: Is it complicated? Sure. But Guidance Counsellors are experts and are only too happy to help.
New: Is it complicated? Sure. But Guidance Counsellors are experts. They’re only too happy to help.
I experimented with this one, but I’m not sure which I prefer…
Old: But that’s what we’re here for. We’re here for Steve, Joanne, Jim and everyone else out there who needs it to be easier to apply to college.
So out with the old. Let’s do something better.
New: But that’s what we’re here for. We’re here for Steve. We’re here for Joanne. And we’re here for everyone else out there who needs it to be easier to apply to college.
So out with the old. Let’s do something better.
Henneke, I also find I use a lot of dashes between sentences, which gives the short sentence effect. Would it be better just to do a period and then a new sentence?
Ex: A high school student is going to make their way to the “Submit” button – no question about it.
Vs: A high school student is going to make their way to the “Submit” button. No question about it.
Alissa R.