Home › Forums › Enchanting Business Blogging – Spring 2014 › Group A › Mohammed Ali – Module 3 › Reply To: Mohammed Ali – Module 3
May 1, 2014 at 9:58 am
#945
Keymaster
I like the changes you’ve made – the shorter sentences stress important points.
Only this one becomes difficult to read as the key message is cut in two:
You know with every phone call. Every meeting. And every step you take, you’re fulfilling your life’s purpose.
Try instead:
You know you’re fulfilling your life’s purpose. With every phone call. Every meeting. And every step you take.
Good work, Mohammed.
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