Home › Forums › Enchanting Business Blogging – Spring 2014 › Group A › Alissa Robson – Module 3 › Reply To: Alissa Robson – Module 3
Thursday Assignment:
My post had a lot of questions already, too, so again, I didn’t want to overkill.
I have a question intro, but i’m going to split it into two lines.
Old: Wouldn’t it be easy if all our college applicants were exactly the same? And they all applied to college straight out of high school?
New: Wouldn’t it be easy if all our college applicants were exactly the same?
And they all applied to college straight out of high school?
Here is one paragraph I changed to add questions:
Old: Picture yourself waiting for the big news of whether you got into that program you’ve dreamed of. Picture yourself checking your inbox day in and day out, and not seeing anything. You might as well be waiting for the mailman!
New: Can you imagine having to check your inbox multiple times a day, just waiting to find out if you got into that program you’ve dreamed of? You might as well be waiting for the mailman!
I don’t have a “state the obvious” question, but i will definitely keep this tip in mind. 🙂
Alissa R.