Home › Forums › Enchanting Business Blogging – Spring 2014 › Group B › Lori–Module 4 › Reply To: Lori–Module 4
This was a heavy-traffic driver for my most recent blog. Iād like to update it and make it more relevant to my new target reader.
Great idea to re-purpose your content! š
When I discovered the stats I used them for each post I wrote for a few months. They really helped me improve my writing.
Good work on the warming up exercise. I like a lot of the words you’ve chosen. You have to be careful to keep it tight, and not to overload people with too many sensory impressions.
Her problems crashed over head in a wave of disaster that pounded her deeper into her entrenched stance.
=> This becomes a little too long with too many concepts (crashing over head / wave of disaster / pounding her / entrenched stance). You risk losing your reader before he gets to the end of your sentence.
The sales guy twitched and flinched his way through his pitch.
=> This is great and gives a strong impression in a few words.
Enchant readers. Woo customers. Win business.